My Mid-Season Report Card
November 4th 2013 - Special K
When I was a little kid, I couldn't wait for the day that my dad brought
home his football cards from work. I had no idea who gave him the tickets or
whom he gave this ticket to but there were always a slew of college games and
every NFL game to choose from. For some reason, Nebraska or Oklahoma, when they
were great back in the day, never seemed to be on the ticket. The tickets always
said for entertainment purposes only, but I knew my dad was putting a few bucks
on them because he gave me money when I won. I recall the ticket reading pick
4-4 and you win 10 points☺
Every team had a number and you would circle the number of the teams that you
wanted, tear off the bottom and my picks were in. At an early age, I quickly
realized that trying to pick 6 out of 6 games against the spread for 25 points
was virtually impossible and always stuck to picking just four games.
Ironically, since we started the Pick Six in 2009, I think we have only had 1
pick six winner on our site.
Ever since I was a kid, I was always confident in my football picks, had done my
thorough analysis, and always had a good feel for how teams would matchup
against each other. Fast forward to the bizarro 2013 football season and I don't
know what to make of it. The NY Jets lose by 40 points to a mediocre team one
week and the next week they beat arguable one of the Top 5 teams in the NFL. The
Eagles don't score a touchdown in two weeks and then explode for 49 points the
next week with their backup QB playing. Even Tom Brady was starting to look
human again until he hangs 55 points on the Steelers. The Ravens had won 11
straight against the Browns and Harbaugh never lost after a bye week until this
year. The one and only consistent fact that you can count on week after week
this year is that the Jaguars will suck.
If games were only 3 1/2 quarters long, I would have a winning record this year.
However, week after week, my picks are constantly being victimized by last
minute comebacks. Now my winning percentage is tracking closely that of the
Houston Astros. I just always seem to be on the wrong side of these wacky games.
You've got the Brady last second TD against the Saints, the Schaub pick six to
Sherman, the Bills last second TD against Carolina, the Bengals fumble recovery
for a TD against GB, and on and on. The torture this week started early, in a
game I really thought the Bengals were going to pull out. Old Man Winner texted
me in the 4th right after the Nugent 53 yard FG that we are finally on the right
side of one of these ugly games. Nope.
Last night, the Texans game couldn't have started any better. I was feeling
great about the Texans heading into the locker room with a 21-3 half time lead.
That was until Kubiak collapsed on the field and the Pillsbury Dough Boy took
over as head coach. We hope Kubiak recovers quickly and all seems well so far.
No offense to Wade either, he is probably the nicest guy, but he has that deer
in the headlight look, was caught on camera yawning during the game, and has a
track record of blowing games. Sure enough, Andre Johnson's catch gets ruled
incomplete. I honestly don't even know what a catch is in the NFL anymore. You
get a 19 yard punt. Luck and the Colts march down and score but they still need
a 2 point conversion to cover the spread. Luck has a window about the size of a
toilet bowl seat to fit the football ball into between 2 defenders and Fleener
makes the conversion. There you go.
At this point in the NFL season, I would have never imagined that I would be
this awful in picking games. I've got 8 weeks left to improve my grade before I
officially flunk.
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